Oh - what a week! I'm so happy that tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is nearly here! Have you ever felt as though you needed a break from your life? I feel like that now. I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now with managing my career, my family, and household responsibilities. I feel like I'm not giving 100% to any one of those areas and I've been really down on myself about that lately. I'm my own toughest critic. Maybe I'm just being hormonal. LOL Or maybe it's because my birthday is just around the corner and it just reminds that that time keeps ticking and there's so much that I want to accomplish but haven't!
I keep saying to myself that this is the time to just do it and follow my dreams. But, I keep coming up with excuses. I was thinking about this on the way to work this morning. My dream? Well, in my 20's my dream was to finish graduate school, have this amazing career in my field (trying to keep this anonymous here), make a particular amount of $$ per year, and start a family by the time I was 30. Well, I did all of that and now I've come to the realization that I'm still not happy! What's wrong with me??? I think it's because my perspective has totally changed now that I have a child. I just feel so guilty leaving her at daycare everyday. I'm so uninspired and unmotivated in my work and I think that it's starting to show. I'm so worn out trying to balance it all and something has just got to give.
Anyway, like I was saying, now that I'm in my 30's I have new dreams. I just want to be the best Mommy and Wife. But, I also crave intellectual stimulation and I'm not about to let those $60,000 in student loans and my work experience go to waste so I'd really like to start my own business. I want to do something that I can run out of my home office and something that doesn't require as much time away from my family. So, what should I do? Any ideas? I have a few but I just don't know if they'll work. I guess that I'll never know if I don't try, right?!
I've always had in the back of my mind that I'd like to start a business but I've let my fears get in the way - namely that security of a regular paycheck! But, you can't have great reward without great risk. So, I've decided that 2009 is the year that I'll stop dreaming and start executing! I've already started sketching out my business plan but I have a lot more work to do!
So, what about you? What have you always wanted to do and what's holding you back?
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It's been a year since you wrote this, how do you feel today? Because I feel exactly like you did when you wrote this. I feel like I'm not a husband but a full-time nurse/cook/father/butler :S
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